Cohen underground for a bit of rock music

A story in the Independent this week had the headline

Cuadrilla and British Geological Survey bond over love of Leonard Cohen in embarrassing leaked emails

and made the ASTONISHING claim that geologists working for the two organizations had discussed having a pint together, and possibly going to see Leonard Cohen in concert.

The gig-going didn't happen in the end, which was a pity, because I can exclusively reveal here today that Laughing Len had actually rewritten one of his classic songs, Chelsea Hotel #2, for the occasion.

With the geo-no-show, it was never performed, but thanks to a leak (nothing to do with fracking well integrity, I might assure you) I can unveil the new lyrics here:

Shale CO2 Well

I remember your well in the Elswick locale,
you were stalking some shale spots so sweet.
Drilling wellheads to the deep shale bed,
while Cuadrilla teams stayed in the street.
Gas was the reason and gas you knew talked,
you were hunting for the money at great depth.
And Cameron's love for the frackers of rock;
probably still means there's some of it left.

Oh and you got a play, riddled with shale.
You just had to frack up the ground.
You got a play, a quite gas-rich old clay,
We need you, we don't need you,
We need you, we don't need you
and all the trucks driving around.

I remember your wells in the Elswick locale.
They were gaseous, your charts had a legend.
You told me and Ed you preferred sandstone beds
but for Fylde you would make an exception.
And amending your list for the ones like us,
who are not blessed by the riggers and the duty,
you drilled a well, you said, "Quakes? Never mind.
We shall plug them and then face the music."

So do you want an ale, after the shale?
Forget all the Frack Off-led crowds.
D'you want some ales, when you've done your EIAs?
You need them, you don't need them,
You need them, you don't need them
and all of that buying a round.

I'm not keen to suggest that our muds are the best,
We can't keep fracking each Fallon rock in.
I remember your wells in the Elswick locale,
that's all, I don't email you that often.