Behind The Scenes at the London 2012 Olympic Games

I have been 2012 Olympic volunteering (Games-Making, if you prefer) at Lord's for a week now, and these are the things I have learned:

1. Antarctica is included as a nation in the computer system, but no-one has registered from the place.  I suspect it's anti-penguinism, with the organizers knowing that the native Antarcticans would sweep the board in the swimming events.

2. Don Bradman looks like Bono.

3. My father's company name is spelled wrongly in the system, so I shall have to refuse him entry to the venue.

4. The Games-Maker uniform makes us look as though a supermarket has set up a paramilitary wing.

5. The Games-Maker uniform also makes us a look a bit like Ringo on the Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover.  This is appropriate, as Abbey Road is just round the corner from Lord's.

6. Real tennis is a very strange game, fusing tennis, squash, and gobbledygook.

7. The replacement turf for the Lord's outfield is being grown in Grantham, ready to be shipped in and laid down as soon as the archery has finished.

8. The trousers of my Games-Maker uniform turn pink after an hour of transporting pink access boards around the venue.

9. At least some MCC members are incensed that their beloved club is being infiltrated by the riff-raff.  "Go away," one snapped at me as I walked past the pavilion.  "Go away! We don't want you here!"

10. For reasons I cannot possibly fathom, this match was being shown on the TV in the athletes' lounge one morning:

Leicester City 3-3 Arsenal

11. I'm growing to like London.

12. Lord's is a fabulous venue, and it's a pleasure to be volunteering here, getting a chance to see how both the Home of Cricket and the Olympic Games work.

13. Computer says no.