Leicester - not Posh, but full of Spice

According to our good friends at the Daily Mail, David Beckham will not be joining the Foxes, as Mrs Goldenballs can't countenance a move to Leicester.  This is hardly a surprise, and the Hate Mail takes the opportunity to make a snide comment or two about my home town.

Well, first of all, I refer Mrs Beckham to the advice I gave the Australian cricket team a couple of years ago. OK, that only covered what to do in a fortnight, but the principle still holds true.

And secondly, Victoria, Leicester doesn't want you anyway.  It may not be the most exciting city on Earth, but it's not as boring as you are, with your track record of bland music and tedious clothes and nothing else.  And ironically, given your previous life, we've got plenty of real spice.