Even Leicester do than they thought

I've always been a trendsetter*, so it's no surprise to see that every media organization under the sun has produced an article advising the Aussie cricket team what to do in Leicester.

Talking of the Sun, they suggest 10 G'DAYS OUT IN LEICESTERSHIRE, each of which includes a lame joke at the expense of Ricky Ponting's team. Perhaps the weakest is that "they’ve found themselves up a creek without one lately, but maybe the Aussies will find a paddle [at Foxton Canal Museum]". Have the Sun ever seen anyone trying to power a canal barge using a paddle?

The Mirror avoid the punning headlines in 'A guide to Leicester for the Australian cricket team' but their article is still pretty limp. The Battle of Bosworth was apparently 400 years before Captain Cook 'discovered' Australia, meaning that Mr Cook would have arrived in Botany Bay in the late 19th century, possibly to find the 3rd intercolonial Trades Union Congress underway. Still, they did at least get city council leader Ross Willmott (he used to be my local councillor till Braunstone Frith got too exciting for him) to recommend the National Space Centre, the Curve theatre, and the abundance of curry houses.

What Leicester has to offer, according to the Daily Telegraph, is its market, the sports history department of De Montfort University, Twycross Zoo, eating a Melton Mowbray pork pie, and then, erm, going back to Nottingham to watch the rest of the Twenty20 competition. Leicester has Nottingham to offer? Pathetic, Torygraph, pathetic.

Thankfully, the Leicester Mercury puts in a bit of effort and goes out onto the streets and interviews some locals. Martin Peters tells us that Terry Wogan didn't like Leicester, but now he can't stay away, whilst John Bleby does his bit for East Midlands harmony by stating that Ponting has 'obviously never played in Derby.' I imagine the signs welcoming visitors into the city will soon be changed to:


And what about the Australian press? Well, the Courier Mail of Brisbane makes a bit of effort, interviewing the Right Worshipful the Lord Mayor of Leicester Councillor Roger Blackmore, who assures Australians worried about their cricketers' mental well-being during their Leicestrian incarceration, that 'they'll love it in Leicester'. However, the Courier Mail does rather undermine Roger's assertion by grumbling that "boring" Leicester "has an award-winning National Space Centre and the ruins of a 12th Century abbey. But that's it."

I think you'll find, Courier Mail staff, that the space centre and the ruined abbey are in one small corner of the city of Leicester, with heaps of delights elsewhere**. And what does Brisbane have to offer anyway? Nothing but koala-packed forests, Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo, the Gold Coast and the Great Barrier Reef. Fair enough, Leicester is pretty rubbish when you look at it like that.

*this is a patent lie
**as is this