Virgin Mary in a grill pan, Humanity in a hell-bound handcart

No, no, I'm sorry, this simply isn't on. I appreciate that people on the US-Mexican border might be getting delirious with the fear of swine flu, but that's still no excuse for this:

Chef sees Virgin Mary in restaurant griddle

A true likeness of the Virgin, says a local churchman. If I was the Virgin Mary, I'd be pretty upset that one of my servants on Earth thought a splodge in a grill pan was an accurate representation of my beatific face. If I was one of Reverend Fernandez's flock, I'd be suggesting he stay off the communion wine for a few weeks and see if his eyesight improves. If I was a non-Calexican Catholic, I'd be baffled that the Holy Mother of God had chosen to forego the pleasure of speaking directly to her beloved followers and instead sent a message through the medium of grease and filth.

Perhaps best of all, the restaurant manager will allow visitors to look at the apparition for free. What generosity!

"Hello punters! No charge to come and look at my greasy grill pan! What do you mean it's just a way to avoid doing the washing up? This is a likeness of the Virgin Mary! A blessing from our Lord!"

God does indeed move in mysterious ways.