Footballers: Stay ONSIDE

British footballers are always getting arrested for misdemeanours outside nightclubs. Tottenham's Ledley King is the latest.

We know these young men are a generally dim and predictable shower, but surely by now they could have learnt that the most dangerous place for them is outside a nightclub? You never hear that they've been arrested near a chip van, or in the taxi queue, or on the night bus.

No trouble on the night bus

Typing the words 'footballer', 'arrested', 'outside' and 'nightclub' into Google brings up 105,000 hits. Replacing 'nightclub' with 'chip shop' brings the total down to fewer than 10,000 hits, whilst 'footballer', 'arrested', and 'taxi queue' produces a miniscule 360 results.

If only footballers could be trained never to be outside a nightclub, their risk of arrest would be reduced dramatically. If they just went to the pub, or a bar, or round a mate's house for a few drinks, they'd be safe. They'd probably be ok if they remained in the nightclub, but as soon as they position themselves outside it, they're dramatically raising the likelihood of getting themselves arrested.

The FA and the clubs need to combine forces and invest money in educational schemes, highlighting the dangers a footballer faces when he puts himself in an outside nightclub scenario, and teaching the players to minimize risk. The programme will be called Outside Nightclub Scenarios: Identify the Dangers Early, or ONSIDE. Only by such efforts can we Help Keep Footballers Safe.

Footballers: these places are DANGEROUS