The revolting sea (continued)

Dr. John Rogers, Peasmarsh: "What do penguins taste like? Is there a penguin quota?"

Dr. Liam Herringshaw, Stockholm: "Penguin tastes filthy. Absolutely disgusting birds, full of rotten fish and squid and limpets. As a consequence no supermarket consumer will touch their flesh with a barge pole and the annual quota is very small, less even than gecko fillets and wombat steaks. That said, I'm sure the RSPB will be able to tell you how many of the black and white bastards you're allowed to cull in any given year. My guess is three macaroni, two gentoo and a jackass."

Dr. John Rogers: "Well I have just spoken to the RSPB representative at Peasmarsh (one Heather Macartney) who explained to me that I could cull as many penguins as I want. However, I must remember to fill one full of hydrogen peroxide and nitric acid before throwing it at Macca's Mercedes while shouting "one legs good...two legs bad...."

Dr. Julian Scott, British Antarctic Survey: "Well, having not tasted penguin I can only agree with Liam on this one. The only seabird I have eaten was on Greenland where as an hors d'oevres to my Minke Whale and Reindeer Surf and Turf I ate a Little Auk. The breasts on a bed of greens were like small shrivelled walnuts and tasted of concentrated fish. It was mostly not worth the effort, however, the look of horror on the face of the avid bird watcher sitting next to me made it nearly worth while. By the way he didn't give a toss about the Minke!"